Leçons de 2017
I hope y’all have had a wonderful holiday season and are having a great day so far. I was not really planning on writing a post on my 2017, but so so much has happened this year and I have learned so much that I wanted to share. I have recently realized how much I benefit from reading what others have experienced, because it makes me feel a little less alone and a little more normal. Therefore, I’m praying that whoever reads this can relate to anything I say. So since there are 12 months in a year, I will list the biggest 12 lessons I have learned throughout 2017. Lastly, I won’t be listing resolutions, because I truly believe that sharing my goals with others kind of stresses me out. For example, when I decided I wanted to lose 50 pounds in a year, I didn’t tell anyone my goal, I just did it and I accomplished it in 8 months. Anyway, this intro is already long, so let me begin the actual post.
You cannot make someone like or love you.
Oh boy, this is something I have known since my first heartbreak, but I did not fully comprehend until this year. I won’t go too deep into my personal life, but ladies, when a guy tells you how he feels, he means it. Trying to change his mind or trying to excuse his immaturity or inability to commit is just a waste of time. In the end, unless you’re just dating to be in a relationship, the goal is marriage. And even though I have no experience, from what I’ve been able to observe, marriage takes a lot of work. So beginning a relationship with someone who is unsure of their feelings for you or is kind of stringing you along until they’re ready is not smart IMO (in my opinion). Also, you want to be respected by the person you might possibly spend your life with. The Bible states in Ephesians 5:33, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This is something I think of when I look back at my past mistakes with guys. Of course I was much less mature, but I don’t think I understood that having respect for myself also meant that I shouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t respect me as well. And respect for yourself begins at realizing that you should never try to convince someone how great you are.
Love is about giving, so don’t expect anything in return.
This is another difficult lesson I have had to learn. It wasn’t necessarily from this year, but I gave this advice to quite a few people, so it’s something I had to remember. Love is a gift. God cares so much for us that He gave us Jesus and Jesus = love. The act of Jesus sacrificing His life for humanity is selfless. I am not trying to make this a Bible study, but that is how I think about love. When you love someone you should never expect anything in return. Love is the most selfless act one can perform IMO, so when you tell someone you love them especially for the first time), don’t be upset if they do not reciprocate. Jesus loves us so much, but there are people who do not feel the same way about Him, but He does not turn around and retract His gift because of it. He allows you to come to Him when you’re ready. I feel like that is how love between individuals should also be treated.
Comparing yourself to anyone will really hurt you.
There is not much more to say about this. I tell myself this so much, but as I’ve written in the past, launching my blog this year has made me do this is little more than I would like. But we are all different and learning at a different pace, so comparing your journey with someone else’s is not fair because you have no idea what they’ve been through to get there. Also as a bit of advice, if you find yourself constantly comparing, just take a social media break or unfollow accounts that make you feel like less than yourself.
Make sure you are truly content with who you are before adding someone else into the mix.
This year I decided to be a little more social and I met quite a few people who were in relationships or looking for partners who were just not content with who they were. I mean, it kind of makes sense in a logical way to think that being with your “soulmate” will complete you, but it won’t. It will make you even more miserable or you’ll cling to that person and if it doesn’t work out, you could begin to devalue yourself. You complete yourself.
What others think of you is none of your business.
Just try to let it go and move on, because everyone has an opinion. Remember that what you’re doing & experiencing in life does not need to make sense to anyone but you.
Family is everything, forget everything else.
The earlier you understand this, the less you will worry about what it is you need in life.
It’s okay to be sad.
This year I tried very hard to be more vulnerable. I probably cried more than I have since I was a child. But understand that being sad and trying to understand how you feel does not make you weak. I can be like brick wall when it comes to my emotions, but it’s really not healthy. I’ve already discussed dealing with depression in previous posts, but the one thing that helped me conquer that illness was sharing my feelings with someone else and allowing myself to feel instead of closing off the emotions.
Prayer can conquer anything.
Slow down and breathe.
I am very impatient, so I have had to learn how to become very patient this year. Things do not always go as planned (like ever) and if you have to take a break, it is fine.
No material item will ever be enough.
This goes along with number 6. But I wanted to have a separate section for it because it is VERY important to understand this. I was talking to my boss yesterday and we were discussing budgeting money and he digressed and said that he has known people who would be making a certain amount of money and they would be discontent and say that if they could just have a little more money, they’d be happier. But when they got more money, they would still want more. Greed is insatiable and having material goods will never make you happy.
You never truly know anyone.
Sad, but true. Unless you’re God, you have no idea what anyone is thinking. That means you really should never assume that someone is who you think they are. We can portray others in a light that fits with our idea of them or they could paint themselves in a way that they want others to see them.
Allow yourself to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you’ve made.
This is what I am currently struggling with. I have made so many mistakes in my life, but I made a pretty big mistake at the end of last year/beginning of this year that I have not really allowed myself to get over. John 1:9 says that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” This is the one thing that has helped me begin to forgive myself. Since God has already done so, I am trying to be okay with how I’ve messed up and just let it go. This also applies to forgiving others who have wronged you. It is not worth it to hold any grudges.
This year has been insane and I really cannot believe all the things that occurred. Even though it was a tough one, there was more good in this year than I realized. Other than graduating, I feel like beginning this blog was my biggest accomplishment. Although I have a small audience and it seems like everyone now wants to be a blogger or influencers, I tried really hard to not let that discourage me. I have learned so so much about blogging and there is still a lot I don’t know, so I cannot wait to see what the Lord teaches me in 2018. Lastly, I want to thank every single person who has played any role in helping me launch Chemistry of Style, because I could not have done it without any of you.
Thank you for reading,
bisous bisous ♥